What George Orwell had to say about your marketing messages

There is one classic piece of writing that I recommend to everyone.  It is not about marketing, it is not about web development, and it is not even about business.  It is Politics and the English Language, an essay written by George Orwell in 1946.  In the essay, he identifies and attacks the ways that the English language is cleverly twisted into a tool for political coercion, evasion, and even corruption.  His essay is the key to understanding much of the world we live in today.

Modern English, especially written English, is full of bad habits which spread by imitation and which can be avoided if one is willing to take the necessary trouble. If one gets rid of these habits one can think more clearly, and to think clearly is a necessary first step toward political regeneration: so that the fight against bad English is not frivolous and is not the exclusive concern of professional writers.

Fast forwarding from 1946 to May 2010, the Telegraph went through the fascinating excercise of collating a list of marketing slogans, mottoes, and taglines used by councils and quangos.  It was a feat which would have put a smile on Orwell’s face.  I felt sufficiently bemused by the list to feed it into Wordle to create a picture cloud of the ensuing result:

Click to view full size

The picture which literally emerged from that list is one of lofty aspirations and ideals that – as Orwell noted over sixty years ago – have very little connection with reality.  Tellingly, the Telegraph’s collected list included this gem:

Hinckley and Bosworth Borough Council introduced “A borough to be proud of” because an Audit Commission assessment concluded that the authority “lacked a clearly articulated and communicated corporate direction”.

These slogans are not really about communities, people, and societies; they are about the needs and aspirations of the marketing teams, PR firms, and partner quangos to whom these things actually matter.

I know that because I used to be paid to come up with this pish.  I was honest to god told to promote our regeneration quango using the talking point that “our LDC is built on a different operating model than other LDCs”, as if multi-generational families of the lifelong unemployed would beat down our door upon learning about our corporate structure.

There is a point here: we have allowed our work to be defined by the silliness of our marketing language rather than the reality of how we interact with our customers, our competitors, and the real world. We’ve talked about creating an “outstanding and sustainable quality of life” rather than actually doing it.  We believe it when we are told our authorites “tak{e} pride in keeping safe” while our streets are neither proud nor safe.  It is a world where – as I experienced – spending £2000 on printing up 100 copies of a brochure for other quangos only falls under the slogan of “making the community a better place to live”.

This is the reality: we live in a world where taking initiative, working hard, and showing dedication are qualities which are viewed as threats to a “clearly articulated and communicated corporate direction” defined by the marketing team and not by the work at hand.  Recently I was left speechless when a public sector managing director asked me what her company’s marketing needs for the year were.  It’s her job to tell me!  The marketing strategy, including the messages, follow on from the business plan.  Her query was proof that some managers are willing to let the marketing staff define the plan: spin over substance.  The language, as Orwell predicted, is being used to establish “reality” rather than explain it.

Look at the phrases in that silly word cloud picture.  Imagine the sheer financial figure in salaries, pensions, and fees which was paid to marketing firms, PR specialists, in-house teams, and consultants to come up with those slogans.  It does not bear thinking about.

So I am pleased to see that the Plain English Campaign has rung in the new year with a plea for the UK’s police forces to drop their silly slogans, mottoes, and taglines.  In their press release, a PEC spokesman says:

“Some are just meaningless. Northumbria’s slogan is ‘Total Policing’. What does that mean? Do some police forces operate ‘partial policing’?

“And what purpose do they serve? Will someone be more inclined to ring 999 in Cumbria because the police force slogan is ‘Safer Stronger Cumbria’?

“Or is it being suggested that victims of crime should shop around? Is it better to be mugged in Suffolk because the police there are ‘Taking Pride in Keeping Suffolk Safe’ than in Northamptonshire, where they are ‘Putting Communities First’?”

Orwell strikes back with a vengeance.

Of course, the public sector does not have a monopoly on spouting meaningless marketing language for its own sake.  I silently choke every time I see a business asserting its “commitment to customer service”, as if the idea of meeting customers’ needs was a new fad borrowed from America.  A major bank asserts “we’re here to help”, as if it was your auntie offering you a cup of tea and not a ruthless and recently nationalised failure.  The most dysfunctional and hostile private sector companies I’ve worked for were the ones whose walls were covered in certifications, accreditations, and awards: what do you mean you’re not happy here, we’re officially a good company to work for? Spin censoring reality. On those lines, businesses of all sizes boast of being “award winning”, knowing full well that awards are meaningless trinkets which can be bought by filling in an application and booking a table for 10 at a swanky dinner.  All these things talk a lot about the egos and emotional needs of the businesses and their owners, but say nothing about the products, the services, and the customers who pay their bills.

The new year is the perfect time to review all of your marketing messages: your slogans, your taglines, your brochures, your site content, your social media profiles, your potted biographies, and your service descriptions.  What’s it all about, Alfie?
Do you even need marketing messages, slogans, and taglines?
Do you need to put those taglines on pens, post-it notes, and plastic tat?
Do your messages speak to your customers, or was your marketing assistant speaking to himself?
Do the things you have to say enlighten the people around you or manipulate them?
Was the point of your communications strategy to serve your customers or spend the marketing budget?
Do you pander to your clients’ perceived emotional needs, or do you work to meet their actual commercial needs?
Can you recite your own marketing messages without laughing?
Do you live in the real world or did you pay a PR firm to make one up for you?
Are your business communications an exercise in sincerity or in self-delusion?

It’s up to you to decide.  George Orwell is watching.

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