Cake and competition 30 December 2007

In one of her usual brilliant posts, Search Engine Guide’s Jennifer Laycock asks “are outdated policies squashing your brand?” Using the example of a camera phone in a supermarket, she asks whether your focus is on competitors or customers.

The way people communicate with each other has changed. Companies can fight it, (to their own detriment) or they can embrace it. The competitor who wants to steal your ideas is going to do it whether you let cameras in your store or not…If you have policies limiting your customers’ ability to share their experiences with other people, you need to take some time to examine your reasons for those policies.

It brings to mind what happened (years ago…) when I found the design for the wedding cake I wanted. I wanted to take a snap of the cake to show it to my other half, but the store wouldn’t let me. (Naturally, the store had more CCTV cameras than most American cities, but an external photo was out of the question.)

In trying to protect their product, the store owners never realised that I could have shown that snap to other brides-to-be and said “if you want that cake, go to that store”. I had to think: if this is how they treat me when they’re trying to get my business, how will they treat me once I’ve handed over my money? I found the attitude so off-putting that I left the store empty handed.

But I kept the design in mind and had my dream cake made - at cost - by a local charity which provides culinary training and jobs to people on the up. I asked the lovely gal there to take a walk to the store and see the cake, and she did, and her replica was flawless.   (Those are Scottish thistles and heather with a small h on top of each tier).  It was the store cake, but it cost about £550 less

The wedding store made three mistakes: they failed to recognise a local competitor, they believed they could protect their product from being copied, and they failed to place a greater value on one mobile phone snap. In this case, the value was £600 that they never earned.

Cross-Browser Hall of Shame 29 December 2007

Is your web site cross-browser compatible?

Do you have a general idea of yes or no? Or are you shaking your head thinking “what’s boss crowser incompatidefagibility, you crazy woman?”

Cross-browser compatibility is geek speak for the simple notion that your web site can be viewed on any web browser, whether that’s Internet Explorer, Firefox, Safari, Opera, or any number of the little guys. Although Internet Explorer no longer dominates the market, many web sites are still created solely for Microsoft software or with techniques exclusive to Microsoft. These frankly inexcusable design errors can render your web site unviewable by up to 40% of your visitors.

Would you slam your store doors on 40% of your potential customers? Or not return 40% of your potential customers’ calls? You wouldn’t dream of it - but a disappointing number of businesses do just that to their site visitors. Take a look at a list of companies which were making incompatible web sites as recently as two years ago:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4115806.stm

Most of those companies have the common sense, and certainly the budget, to know better than to design web sites using exclusionary, decade-old techniques. And if these big boys are making simple errors, you can imagine how much this unspoken issue impacts small businesses with home-made web sites without their ever knowing it.

If you are not sure whether your web site is cross-browser compatible, or if you think it must be because it “looks good to you”, speak with a web site professional for an independent evaluation. Chances are your potential customers may have put you in a Hall of Shame of their own.

Signs of Organisational Trouble 19 December 2007

Even if you are not a nonprofit organisation or charity, Peter Brinckerhoff’s December newsletter has plenty of rich food for thought.

http://www.missionbased.com/newsletters/dec07.htm

Mind you, those lists are supposed to be warning signs, not a description of your organisation!

How to plan a web site 17 December 2007

Here is my second print article, “How to plan a web site”, which appeared in the November/December issue of the Barrhead Press.

How to plan a web site

Obviously the process is a little more complex than can be distilled into 400 words.  The point is the same: first purpose, then content, and last, design and structure.

The language of purposeful impenetrability 17 December 2007

Last week was one for splitting linguistic hairs, whether it was examining a client’s marketing pitch or dissecting a newspaper’s foray into bombastic violence. Luckily, I don’t seem to be the only one prone to linguistic hissy fits.

How many company websites actually make it clear these days what service or product they provide? The language is purposefully impenetrable: “core aims”, “crafting and interrogating a long-term business plan”, “creative and innovative thinking”, “conscious consumerism”, “strategic goals”, and “effective communications solutions”. What does any of this actually mean?

Read that article at The Guardian.

On a more humorous note:

“Today it’s schmuck, tomorrow it might be toochis,” said SFS volunteer Harry Steinbergmann, 82. “What’s next, schlemiel? Putz? Schlimazel?” Steinbergmann went on to classify this scenario as farcockteh.

The Onion, of course.

Letter to the Newsquest group 11 December 2007

Tonight I sent this email to a contact at the Evening Times’ parent company. There is a line and it has been crossed.

Dear (name)

We met several months ago at a Chamber of Commerce lunch at the Crowne Plaza.

Although I know it is not your department, I wanted to drop you a note to express my absolute outrage and disgust with the Evening Times, which is of course owned by the same parent company as (your publication). As you may know, today the Evening Times began a chest-beating campaign of publishing the names and addresses of people fined for minor litter violations.

In addition to this campaign being smug and misplaced, especially given the culture of actual violence within the city, the Herald and Times group may have put lives at risk by embarking upon this witchhunt. Aside from the obvious risk of identity theft, there may well be women on that list who are hiding from abusive partners, and now their whereabouts have been made public in a slanderous campaign which equates tissue-droppers with criminals. In fact, a convicted murderer and sex offender who was recently charged with two more murders currently receives more protection and privacy from your employers than people whose only mistake was to miss the rubbish bin.

I had been planning on advertising within the Herald family of newspapers but that is absolutely out of the question now. The Evening Times’ action reflects poorly on the entire brand, including The Herald as well as (your publication), and I would appreciate you passing this on to your superiors. As a business I absolutely will not give my time and money to a company which has anointed itself with the right to play judge, jury, and God with people’s lives.

Please do not take these remarks personally; you are the innocent bystander in my contacts list.

Arrogance, witchhunts, and smokescreens do not make Glasgow a better place to live and work.

Update 14 December: no response from the Newsquest Group.  Imagine that.

Outside of totalitarianism I know of no newspaper in history which has ever appointed itself with the right to threaten the civilian population of an entire city, and then carry out their own pogrom - excuse me, program - of systematic harassment and punishment over and above what has already been determined as appropriate by the state.

Outside of totalitarianism I know of no newspaper which ever has mocked and threatened its own readers using terms normally associated with physical violence.

In the words of Jefferson, “those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety”.

Hand-picked for freshness 11 December 2007

This week I am helping a client to craft a marketing strategy that will set her out from the competition. One of her issues is that the language she has been using to market herself is bland and uninterested. The words tell you all about what products A, B, and C are, but they do not link those products to her customers’ needs, nor do they explain why she is the one to buy the products from. You are left with no doubt that she is experienced, qualified, and highly professional, and that she has a good business setup, but you are also left with the impression that she is a dull member of a dull industry.

She has been marketing her products using words which describe the assumptions that her customers already have. When you buy a product or a service, you assume you are buying it from an experienced and qualified professional. You expect the product or service to do what it says on the tin. You assume it will be worth your time and energy and will have a positive impact on your life. You expect the seller to explain what gives their product the comparative edge, why it’s a better buy, and why they deserve your business.

So I had to chuckle when a charity being profiled on the lunchtime news described its staff as “hand-picked.”

Erm, yes, one would hope so.

Hand-picked as opposed to what?  Fell off the the back of a lorry?

You just assume businesses and charities have some sort of selection and hiring process for their staff. “Hand-picked” staff are not a comparative advantage. They are a general expectation.

Take a look at your own materials to see if any of your marketing language states the obvious.

Worst. Marketing. Tie-in. Ever. 9 December 2007

Slaying the web template monster 6 December 2007

 As with many things in the business world, the wheels are finally starting to turn.

One of my main gripes with the template-website-monster-companies is that they profit off creating unrealistic public expectations. Suggesting that you can have a truly professional website without someone on the project having some education about designing for the web, for humans and for search engines is a little bit like saying your dentist can fix your car. Maybe he can tinker with your car. Maybe he’s creative and can even paint your car a pretty color. But in the end, he’s a professional dentist…not a professional auto mechanic and this would likely become obvious to you the moment you started up your engine. I would estimate that at least 70% of the website redesign work my firm has done over the years has come from clients who bought into the instant-website-for-cheap idea and then spent several years wondering why they couldn’t rank in Google. A template is just some code and pictures. It’s not a web designer or an SEO consultant.

Amen, brother. You can read this full article, and learn the 12 checkpoints your “easy site” must absolutely meet if you still insist on using one, at Search Engine Guide.

If we professional web designers tend to go into fits about easy site and template builders, it is not out of greed or jealousy. Far from it.

E-newsletters away! 5 December 2007

Thanks to a new affiliate program with the company which is arguably the market leader in e-newsletter solutions, I have been able to add e-newsletters to my portfolio of services.

You will get a fun, idiot-proof, and interactive marketing solution at a cost which takes advantage of the dismal US-to-UK interest rate to guarantee a great value for money.  What’s not to love?

I am really looking forward to digging in with the program, so give it some thought. What could e-newsletters do for your business? Do you want to keep your current customers while attracting new ones?  What about holiday offers?  The list is endless!